Robert Li· 18/01/07 · 06:10 AM

Arianna, from reading your many fine columns and some of your books, I know you are open-minded. And so, I send your the following article to give you a chuckle.

The Thermodynamics of Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting Oh my God.

The End

Anthony James Parissi, Jr.· 23/02/07 · 01:38 AM

As we witness our America turn into a police state under the enforcement of a foreign jurisdiction, I.e., Law Merchant/Merchant statute, statute staple, originally restricted to the ten [10] miles square are of Washington, District of Columbia, stealthy extended into the several states of the Union through maritime contracts, under admiralty jurisdiction enforced in vice-admiralty courts, protection of Creator endowed rights abolished, people suffering through unscrupulous IRS agents and our people and children once again being maimed and dieing under the authority of legislative acts, presidential decrees and unspeakable acts of agents at the behest of power crazed politicians owing allegiance to and to the satisfaction and profit of international financiers for acceptance of hard and soft money contributions, rather than adhering to their oath of office and agenda of those they allege to represent from which all authority emanates, isn’t it time for impeachment proceedings or recall to begin at the grass roots level?

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----- Original Message -----
From: "Anthony James Parissi, Jr."
To: "www.plantagrow.com"
Sent: Tuesday, September 04, 2007 2:10 PM
Subject: Enquiry from www.plantagrow.com

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> Do you ship to U.S.A.?
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